Get Off The Bed

Sometimes we can be too attached to our firm yet comfy beds…


While studies show that the vast majority of sex still happens in comfort, they also tell us that most couples have taken their sex on tour at some point or other. There’s good reason for that, and keeping it fresh should never be an afterthought. 

With that in mind, we have put together a few ideas that may not sound great at first, but remember, it takes a rough edge to make sparks fly.


No. 5 The Bathroom


There’s no that surprise shower sex is always a good idea, be it soapy, steamy, or downright sploshy. But another staple bathroom feature usually gets completely overlooked. As probably the only seat in the house that’s actually glued to the floor, a closed toilet offers some limited though interesting positions. For confident couples a nice big mirror can be a welcomed plus. Be sure to close the door for maximum acoustic reverberations. This room takes no5 spot as we almost didn’t include it in our list, because if sex in the shower isn’t already in your normal sexual geography, then perhaps you would prefer reading a different article, such as this comprehensive knitting guide.


No. 4 The Car


We’ve all been there at some point, old enough to drive and play around, not old enough to have a guest house or afford hotels. Cars have long been a refuge for the young and horny but there’s no harm in revisiting that juvenile feeling. Don’t worry if you don’t have an indoor garage, all is not lost. Just find the smallest space you have in the house, be it under the stairs, in a wardrobe or even the broom closet; make it even more confined with any old padded chair and loose furniture; and be ready for a good old laugh. Will it be claustrophobic, uncomfortable, and maybe even dangerous?… Hell yeah! 


No. 3 The Laundry Room


There’s two ways to take it here (isn’t there always). The first is for anyone curious as to the appeal of glory holes. For that, stick your head inside the washing machine and be taken by surprise when someone else sticks their head in the… dirtying machine. Or for the more smooth and sensitive types, load up a full drum of towels on the most aggressive wash and as gently as possible share the top of the machine, being sure to maximize the skin to white goods contact ratio. Although for the most part it’s basically uncomfortable sex, once that final spin cycle kicks in you’ll be wondering why all beds don’t come with an earthquake function.


No. 2 The Guest Room (your private hotel stay) 


There’s something about doing it in someone else’s room, and if you’re lucky enough to have a guest room, use it! For maximum effect, throw a gaudy over sheet and some pillows onto the bed and add some random artwork on the wall. The key is to make it look like it was designed by someone you don’t like, and poor you have to just make the most of it. Install a kettle and armchair in a random spot and you’re good to go. For extra points, add the turn-down service chocolates to the bed, and have the instant coffee ready to go without ever leaving the room. Although it’s still just a bedroom, what’s important is that it’s not your bedroom! 


No. 1 The Kitchen 


Arguably, sex belongs in the kitchen. They are places that are made to get messy and the more it looks like a small bomb went off in the room, the better the sex. All sorts of utensils and gadgets are here to be incorporated, just be sure to disconnect any touchscreen stoves and separate the forks from the spatulas (one being much more fun to spank ass with). The fridge and freezer are close by for a mid-session snack or that whipped cream you prepared earlier. 

More than any other room in the house, the kitchen also offers the most surfaces and position potentials with tables, chairs, counters, islands, and even a big sink on a nice hot day. Gag for this room: load up some microwave popcorn and test your timing skills against the intensifying speed of the popping corn (though have a spare pack ready in case you do get genuinely carried away).   


Bonus Room: The Home Gym


If you’re lucky enough to have the space for a home exercise room, congratulations, as this may be the best sexspace yet. Fun with yoga balls and workout benches aside, a simple installation of exercise rings may be all you need to satisfy your adventurous tastes. 


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