Never be afraid to ask the difficult questions in life,
like why are cars so damn sexy?
It’s a fair question. We can all agree that below, there are two plain looking cars, and two very sexy cars… But… why is that? Look deep enough and you may not like the answer.
A few things make a car sexy, generally we think of them being pleasing to 4 out of the 5 physical senses.
The Look. Smooth folding curves, firm perky tips, sparkly paintwork, and supple gripping tires. Leather interiors with all sorts of surfaces you can’t help but run your fingers across. Dashboard displays that are pleasing to the eyes and lighting to match the aesthetic, trims, finishes, and all. Cars look sexy, and car designers know it.
The Feel. Cars can feel sexy too. Yes there’s the obvious gear shifter fun to be had, and making full use of a fake taxis spacious interiors. But then there’s the purrrrr of a V12 engine, its powerful thrust, and all the welcome rumblings it causes. Not to mention every texture inside specifically chosen for its visual and tactile appeal.
The Smell. Whether it’s a supercar or a city econ model, it smells damn good when it’s new. Classic cars can smell good for decades. Without looking too much into the why, cars just smell so very damn good.
The Sound. Tying in with the feel and look, the sound of a car has a personality of its own. Given the many parts that determine the sound a car makes, a well tuned motor is the definitive sound byte of vitality and vigor. Raw bursts of power, brimming with energy and ready to explode, shifting upwards gear by gear. Lets not pretend there’s nothing sexual about that.
Beyond the physical there are other sources of CC Sensuality. Cars have always been seen as symbols of status, freedom and a good time. Their cost, speed and sex appeal go hand in hand, the hotter the car the hotter the pull.
Years of marketing and movie magic have driven the associations along. Wanna make people know they’re looking at a villain? Have them turn up in a luxury black limo. Thelma and Louise is a film about freedom, so have them drive a convertible. Want a comic relief car with a great heart- cue Herbie. And don’t even get me started on the Batmobile!
If your feelings towards cars end with the above, then congratulations, you are in the majority of people who can simply enjoy nice things. However, if you also have an opinion on how cars taste, then you might want to seek some expert help. Mechanophilia is a real thing and it isn’t limited to cars. Mechaphiliacs go all the way past finding a vehicle sexy to downright viewing cars as porn. It’s somewhere amidst the growing genre of pansexuality and becoming more normalized as technology and design march on.
We’ve seen this in porn with robotic sex machines. Vibrators have to look sexy, but the most popular ones don’t even look or function like a penis would. Apple products have that, je ne sais quoi appeal that sets them apart. What it is, is sexiness, only a little harder to accept given the non-human source. Although we are still decades away from functioning cyborgs, that hasn’t stopped creators from delivering all sorts of sexy humanized machines. The inconvenient truth being that, it’s not always the human element that’s the attractive part.
Of all the machinery we interact with daily, cars are specifically more provocative. They’re designed and marketed that way, to have character and sex appeal. Millions of gearheads buy magazines of hot cars, and flock to conventions where they put their beauties on display. Models, photographers, animators and moviemakers keep up the sexy image of cars at every available turn. Do they all realize that they fall somewhere on the Mechanophilia Spectrum?
The line between describing a gadget as sexy, and genuinely finding it sexy, is thin, and evolving alongside the technology in our lives. Regardless of how and how much, it’s time for the world to accept why cars really are so damn sexy.
Ferrari Testa Rossa 250
Thelma And Louise
We almost forgot Car Washes… the pinnacle of sexy washing. What more proof do we need to accept and embrace the mechaphilia lurking inside all of us?